The Mother of the Avatar

Earlier this month on Mother’s Day, I thought of Shireenmai: the mother of the Avatar. How well chosen she must have been for Baba to say, “It was I who first gave you birth – and then you bore Me! I was your mother in the beginning of creation, and now you are My mother.”1

Baba’s parents were quite a pair. While Sheriarji always looked at an issue from the spiritual and idealistic point of view often leading to a generous giving away of his time and money, Shireenmai had a material and practical approach. She managed the household and its finances with a scrupulous bearing and a judicious attention to detail. She had a sharp wit, keen sense of humor, and the courage to speak her mind.

Although Merog (Merwan was fondly called Merog at home) was her favorite child, her exceptional fondness for Him also led to her clashes with Him over His Godhood. She had high hopes for Merwan’s future and saw the experiences given to Him by the Perfect Masters as a hindrance to His growth in the world. While He went through immense physical, mental and emotional suffering to achieve the ‘I Am God’ state, as one reads about that time period, it is interesting to note the role that Shireenmai played in the process. How could a mother bear the loss of her child to an obscure and shocking future?

She grappled with the incomprehensibility and the gravity of the fact that her son could be God personified. What did that mean? And whatever it meant, it was in complete opposition to her plans and dreams for her dearest son. She visited the perfect masters Babajan, Narayan Maharaj and Upasani, failing each time to make any headway. Circumstances stood in the way of her intent and Merwan’s destined future as the savior. She felt trapped, angry, anxious and extremely concerned for the well-being of her son, who appeared to have gone mad.

It took Merwan almost seven years to gain consciousness and function as a spiritual master. In 1921, Shireen visited Upsani Maharaj on numerous occasions to bring Merwan back. On one of her last attempts, after begging Maharaj to return her son, she quarreled with Maharaj and Merwan, but Merwan refused to go back with her.

“After this quarrel, Memo (Shireen) suffered a breakdown and her health deteriorated. She would lie in bed weeping and was, most of the time, insensible. She refused to cook, and the children and home were attended to by servants … .Weeks passed, there was no sign of recovery, and Bobo (Sheriarji) thought Memo might die. Once, while she was sleeping, Bobo, who was keeping watch over her, saw the door open and two figures approach her bed. One spirit resembled Merwan and the other, wearing a white turban and kafni, resembled Sai Baba. The two figures stayed a few minutes near Memo, gazing at her; then they vanished. Soon afterward, Memo awoke and, for the first time in weeks, spoke clearly and asked for water. Bobo poured water for her and, amazingly, Memo’s condition rapidly improved. She then became well and normal, much to the relief of everyone in the family.”2

After Merwan began to be recognized as Meher Baba, Shireenmai finally started looking up to Him reverentially. This led to another internal conflict between her love for the man who was the Avatar of the age but also happened to be her son. She continued to exercise her right over Him by telling Him how to run His ashram and commanded authority with His followers. For many years to come, she would also continue to ask Him to get married. With humor, love and great tact, Meher Baba handled His mother and she came to be loved and respected in His ashram.

In 1932, when Baba was well established as a Master, another blow came her way in the form of the loss of her only daughter, Mani. After Sheriarji died that year, Shireen and Mani went to Baba to discuss family matters. Naturally, Shireen wanted Mani to get married but Mani desired nothing more than being with her God Brother. This would be another fight that Shireen would take on with obstinate determinacy. Baba suggested to Mani. “Behave in such a way that Memo would let you go.”

Although it was difficult for Mani to behave rudely with her mother, she argued, spoke back, and did not obey her mother’s requests. At last, Shireen let her “Go to Merog” and Mani joined Baba’s ashram as a fourteen-year-old. The battle was not yet over –not with an opponent like her mother. Nonetheless, Shireenmai went ahead with plans to arrange Mani’s marriage. During a heated argument, Baba put Mani in a room and locked the door. Baba said, “You are so keen to have her married, now let’s see how many offers you get!” When Shireenmai opened the door, Mani’s leukoderma had flared up, and her face was covered with white patches. “Merog, what have You done?” Shireen screamed. Baba let His mother know that if Mani did not remain in His ashram, her condition would worsen.

In order to give His mother a female companion to replace Mani in the household, Baba called His brother Behram to a heartbreaking task. Behram, who wanted to also be with Baba as one of His men mandali, was asked to marry. He obeyed Baba and married Perin in March of 1933, much to Shireenmai’s delight. Yet, Shireen was reluctant to let Mani go.

Chanji wrote, “This annoyed Baba greatly, and He turned the key. Mani was at home at the time. After a while, she developed the skin disease again…Still the mother refused. The disease grew worse and worse covering Mani’s arms, feet and legs. Then Shireenmai said, ‘Take her away.’” That was how Mani joined Baba and Shireen gave her daughter to Meher Baba.3

About His mother, Baba said, “She helped so much in My work…She played her part well…She was an exceedingly adventurous woman and extremely fearless…She was purest crystal!”4

1. Shireenmai, The Queen of Beauty, Compiled by Avatar Meher Baba Bombay Center, p. 48
2. Lord Meher, Online Edition, By Bhau Kalchuri, p. 253
3. Shireenmai, The Queen of Beauty, Compiled by Avatar Meher Baba Bombay Center, pp. 46-48
4. Ibid, Introduction